Boundaries and Things I Have Learned

I have learned that boundaries are a very important part of life and living a good, self-loving, happy life.  I used to be one of those people that always said “yes” to everything, even if it was not making me happy.  As long as I was making the person I said yes to happy, that was okay.  I have always been one to keep the peace.  To make others happy and keep conflict at bay.

I hated conflict.  Still do.  But I am learning that sometimes you must face conflict first, to not have it later on.

That’s me^^ – At least it was me and I am still getting through a lot of these things.  I have always thought it important to make sure everyone else was happy.  Always believed others should come first before me.  Felt that I was selfish if I ever wanted to put myself first in anything.  Never felt I was good enough.  It’s very hard to work myself out of these beliefs that I have held on to for so long in my life.  Most of it really.

I am learning that to continue being like this I was losing myself and not being me. I was not the real me that loves to express herself through music, writing and other creative things.  I was cutting myself off to everything and everyone I love.

The above list are things I had to start learning myself.  To believe in.  And to put into practice.  I have to constantly remind myself of these things more often than not.  It is an everyday battle to hold true to myself and do these things.  Once again, I feel I am causing conflict when I do these things.  When in all actuality I am just saving myself and being true to me by following and putting them into practice.

Do you have this problem too?

Just like the meme above says, I stress out every time I have to put a boundary into practice.  That is my anxiety lashing out.  But I know it is to create a safe place for me.  And I also know that the more I do this and hold strong to the boundaries I place, I will make a better place for me, those I care about and want in my life.

I still let my anxiety and fear of conflict stop me from placing boundaries and/or following through when I do place them.  It is an ever continuing lesson I am learning and trying to hold to.  When not holding to boundaries I place, it causes even more conflict.  The one thing I continue to avoid!  You would think I would learn and hold on to it, faster than I am, just for this reason. (*rolling eyes*)

I will continue to push forward and be steadfast in these boundaries I need for me and those around me.

Do any of you have these struggles like me?  If so, I would love to know.  It’s nice to know we are not alone in this boundary process, learning and putting it into action.

Belle xo