Diary of Me, Me, writing, topics, sharing

Things I am learning about in me

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Here I am again to talk about things going on with me

I have had a lot of changes in my life in the last few years. Now that I have been through the emotional changes, things going on around and getting through them, I am now realizing and experiencing physical things and changes. These are the things I am learning about in me.

I have been dealing with hearing loss in my left ear.

Beginning a couple of years ago I noticed something going on with my hearing in my left ear, especially when in the quiet car. It felt blocked and not right. I would turn on the music just so I wouldn’t notice it as much, thinking it was my sinuses draining and causing problems. Finally, I went to the doctor and was referred to an ENT. The ENT could not see a problem so sent me to get a hearing test done to determine if there was something inside. The testing came back mild hearing loss and so he suggested allergy tests to be done to rule out allergies.

This took a whole other turn! I was found to be allergic to basically everything outside plus cats! Allergy shots began. I had them every week for a year until I moved here to London. Now I give myself the shots once every month. However, I still had problems with my hearing in the left ear. It continued to feel like something is blocking it and I can hear movement like sinuses moving inside.

So, once here, I told my doctor about it and they sent me for an audio gram. The same analysis as before was given. Mild hearing loss. But, because I was hearing movement he suggested to my doctor that I be seen by an ENT. When telling my doctor this on my telephone appointment this morning she decided to first get an MRI done on the left ear to rule out a tumor. A tumor?!? Yikes! Okay, no reason getting worried until we get results.

So that is my hearing problems in a nut shell.

Now about my low back, hips, gluts and side of legs, especially the right side.

Before I came to London I was having some low back issues and even though I was getting massages every now and then when I could, the problems seemed to be getting worse. I was referred to Physical Therapy for a time before the pandemic hit and then did the exercises during the pandemic since I could not be seen by my therapist.

Once I came to London, I was being seen by a physiotherapist and continued to have problems and sensitivity in my lower back. She worked with a chiropractor and suggested I be seen by her. I was seen and wow what a change! By the second treatment the sensitivity and pain I had been living with was gone. My lower back was so much better it was astonishing.

I continued to be seen by them both, along with our yoga massage therapist and trainer every week. I felt I was getting stronger until I suddenly started getting pain down the outside of my legs. The right leg was worse than the left and continued to get worse. I finally tried to get in touch with the doctor to find out what I should do.

Over the phone I discussed with the doctor about what was going on (As you see above). She has suggested there may be arthritis in my legs that is causing the pain so is referring me for an x-ray. Once that is ruled out or verified we will go from there to determine treatment.

This is where I am

So, now I am in limbo to know what is going on with me but also moving forward at the same time. At least something is being done to determine what my issues are and then we can move on with treatment. I just feel like since I have reached this age (54) I have so many more issues yet feel more knowing of myself than ever before. The journey continues and I am actually looking ahead and expectant of what will be next in my life.

One thing I am very excited about is I will be flying home to the states in October to see my boys and their families, my parents, my sister, and my friends. My granddaughters will both be turning one year old in October and November. I get there between their birthdays so I can celebrate them while I am there for three weeks. How great is that?!

Belle xo

Me, writing, topics, sharing

Continue to Learn and Be Enlightened

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*Photo from Pixabay

I have not felt like writing very much recently.  Mainly because no matter what I do, I am constantly being watched for what I write.  And if by any chance I say something “wrong” (even with hardly any followers on my blog) an alarm goes out and I am shut down again.

I started this blog to be able first to share things, like a journal, and not affect anyone, and yet get thoughts out of my head, get support, and show others possibly going through the same thing that they are not alone.  Second to be able to write poems and stories, etc, and let my creative side spill out and not be held inside.  And yet, here it is being held in again because of this.

I have reached a place in my life where I am finding the real me, understanding some things I didn’t before and feeling more myself than I have in such a very long time.  I have found that I am an extremely sensitive person of which I thought meant I was needy and over the top.  Now I understand it just means that I have a gift for feeling things from others around me in which makes me extra empathetic.  Now I understand why I could always put myself in other people’s shoes and feel what they felt and understood their side of things better than most.  And why my emotions sometimes were all over the place when in certain situations. And also why I needed and enjoyed being by myself.

It also explained why I felt the need to help those around me and take on their problems when they were not mine to take on.  Why I don’t like chaos and want everyone happy around me, so I tried all ways to make those around me happy, even if it meant I was not happy.  But I thought I was happy because others around me were.

Understanding these things has put more confidence in me to the point I feel my fire coming back.  The light inside of me is growing strong again.  I still cringe when someone I love is not happy.  But I understand more now, that I have to be happy too and my life has to be lived separately as well as with the ones I love.  So that we are all happy in our own way.

Anyway friends, I just wanted to share these things and I am finding my voice again and my confidence in my writing and love of creativity.  Hopefully, because of this, I will have some things to share very soon.

Until then, stay well.  Keep an open mind and keep learning in life and in you.

Belle xo

Me, writing, topics, sharing, Update

Things I Have Done and Things In The Works

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I would like to share with you, dear readers, some things I have done and am working on.  I have had so much going on in my life for the past few years and have found again my love of writing in the midst of this.  So that, along with my love of singing and using my voice, I have decided on a lot of avenues to be able to do with these things I love.  Here goes….

*You know (or maybe you don’t), I wrote a book about erotica, mystery, adventure and love.  It helped me escape from things I was trying to deal with in my life at the time as well as help me to express myself in a different way.  I let the story pour out of me and take on a life of its own.  I am proud of that book.  I know that some of my family and friends do not approve of it nor of some of the things in it, but that’s okay.  They do not have to read it nor accept it.  And I am going through it now to correct errors and edit it a bit more, so I will be reintroducing it once that is done.  I am also going to start writing a second book with some of the same characters in it.  I feel, even if it never goes far, at least I tried.

*I am also writing a couple of other stories and am hoping they do well also, especially one of them.  These will be under the name I use here, Belle Scribe.  I enjoy the twist and turns you can make in a story and its fun to see where the story can go.  I am really excited!

*I have written short stories and poems that I am thinking of making into books of each.  I have so many of these, and I see others doing the same, as in putting them in a book together.  I think it is a great idea and am looking more into this.  We will see.

*Last but definitely not least, I am working on doing some audio work.  I have not been able to use my voice as much as I like, not having a full-on band to play with recently, other than on Sunday mornings.  So, I thought, what can I do to use my voice and share it with the world?  Audio work!  (Like audio book work, voice over, reading short stories for myself and others)  And now my small audio studio is set and ready to go.  I have done a couple of test readings and so far they are good.  I will be putting some audio to the stories here and hope you all will give me some good feed back once I do.  It would be very much appreciated, if so.  🙂

I have been listening to a lot of great podcasts recently regarding entrepreneurship, writing and audio, so am very excited to put things into practice and get started from here! And if you need someone to read your stories or help out, please let me know!

Belle xo

Me, writing, topics, sharing

Here I am

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So, here I am. Starting my blog to share writings, poems, ideas, thoughts and posts I love and want others to enjoy.  I will hopefully connect with you and keep you coming back for more.  If not, then it’s not meant to be for us and I hope you much joy in your life.

I have a passion for writing and for music, with a little bit of artsy in me (painting, drawing and making things).  I love traveling, food, animals, people and learning new things on a daily basis.

I can’t wait to get started and dive in!  So in the next few days, stay tuned and stay ready, I will hit many of these areas and look forward to you enjoying and giving good feed back whenever you feel the move to do so.

Belle xo