thoughts

If I Died Tomorrow

This is not a cry for help but a cry for love and empathy. We have only one life to live and should live it fully. We should not regret our choices but learn from them. Just don’t learn from them by not giving it your all. All love to those that you love, letting them know as much as possible that you love them and miss them. All help to those that need it, as much as we can. All understanding and empathy, especially to love ones, but to strangers as well.

I wrote the following during a sensitive moment and no, it is not a poem. More like a pouring out of feelings I had to get down and out of my head. I know I am not alone in these feelings so thought I would share.

If I died tomorrow

If I died tomorrow would you care?

If I died tomorrow would you regret not contacting me and staying silent?

Would it make a difference to you if I am not here?

Would you beg for the time back?

Would you cry yourself to sleep?

Would you miss our times together?

The laughs, the hugs, the talks, the smiles and the tears shared?

Would you look at pictures, realizing I was the one taking them, so not many of me to remember? 

We don’t have forever, only a short time together.

Once it’s our time to go, that’s it.

Only memories and pictures to turn to and stories others have to tell.

Don’t waste the time we have by being hung up on your beliefs and hard “headedness”.

My love is so great and given freely.

I need that love in return, just as anyone does. 

So again I ask,

If I died tomorrow, would you care?

Belle xoxo (Dawn)

Season, writing

Tis The Season

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Tis the season to contact loved ones and friends.

It is the time of year to let those in your life or in your heart know you are thinking of them and want them to know you love them. Just because they know it doesn’t mean they don’t like or need to hear it.

I am in a new country now. Yes, it is my choice to be here. It is also my choice to decide how I live my life. As well as my choice to contact those I love, and I do. The only thing that hurts my heart is when I am the one doing most of the contacting. Even when I was having a hard time through the changes in my life that I was going through, I was continuing to contact. No, I wouldn’t go into long detail of my life or tell people (even those I was close to) the things I was going through.

Tis the season to remember the past.

I honestly felt it would be burdening those I love with my problems and my feelings. To me, everyone is going through something. I know that at times it is nice to hear someone else’s problems because it takes you away from your own problems. But, I was afraid I would say something stupid or mean that would get back to the person I was having the problems with. So I stayed silent. Especially to my boys. I have always believed you don’t pull children into your problems because you don’t want to persuade them either way of how to feel about their other parent. And that includes your adult children.

I agree, I didn’t handle things the way I should or could have. I blocked those I love and built up a wall that has been very hard to let back down. But with that I have learned so much about myself and others. Am still learning as a matter of fact. Being thankful for the years with my children as they grew up and the huge part that is being a mother. Having a grateful heart for all the lessons and ups and downs that have made me who I am today.

Tis the season to look to the future.

Looking to the future, I know there are still some hills to climb and walls to tear down, but it will take time. Hopefully we have the time needed to heal and tighten the relationships that were injured or broken, and still have time to be close and share things as we used to.

My plan is simple. To live my life to the fullest, see my family and friends as often as I can, travel and help others as much as I can. If I can in the mean time make people smile and feel better about themselves, all the better!

To look fully to the future we must live in the present. Make the most of each day. Verify the ones you care about know it. And, I want to make a difference to someone or something in the world, even if it is just one person or a small something. I know I am where I am for a reason, I have always believed that.

I love you all and wish you all a very Merry Christmas.

Belle xo

Diary of Me

Dear Diary – 21 October 2021

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Thoughts of the day

It’s funny how people are when you are going through things and are quiet for a while. Then when you post something on social media to show you are happy, or your partner does and tags you in it, you get messages from friends you haven’t heard from in quite a while. It is really great to hear from people when this happens because it shows that people do actually pay attention.

Then when you come home to the states, you have people you catch up with and see and they tell you how happy you look and like a weight is lifted off your shoulders. This makes me smile. Because I am happy. I feel loved, seen, heard and respected. It is an amazing feeling. And to be able to come home to the states and see those I love and have missed, it is wonderful to share special time with.

Things I realize

I have realized that my creativity and writing have come to a stand still. Being overwhelmed with the change my life has been going through has taken a front seat. And that is okay. We all need time to adjust and take it all in when this happens. No, some of us don’t get the time needed to do this. I am blessed at this stage in my life to be able to. So I have put my writing, podcast and any other creative works on hold for a bit. It is okay and I have to accept that this is normal and will pass.

So, for now I am here, going through the changes, understanding the changes and accepting them as they come. I am also trying to take it all in and pull from it all anything I can share with others. It is amazing the things you can learn when you open yourself up to what is going on in and around you.

To take away

My take away is this:

Make life what you can. Take all the good and bad that you go through and learn from it daily. Don’t take anything or anyone for granted. Love, be kind and help those you can, when you can. Be a light in the world and spread joy as often as you can.

Belle xo

poetry, writing

That Very Thing

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That very thing that you thought you would never do

The thing you thought would never happen, not ever to you

That thing you avoided and denied could come into your life

The one thing you swore never ever would cause you strife

It happened and it will again because you are only human

We all experience it at one level or another

Sometimes it’s harsh and at others quite barely there

Yet it is part of life so we know both the ups and the downs

So we know the happy times and the sad times

We have to experience one to know the other

Just like there are so many different people in this world

If we were all the same, what a boring world it would be!

So get out there and live your life to the fullest

Know that there will be ups and downs

Live and learn and keep going

Life is an adventure and is so worth living!

NaNoWriMo

#NaNoWriMo

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I have not been around recently for many reasons.  The main one is that I was preparing and beginning to participate in the #NaNoWriMo challenge! I was at the beginning of writing a fantasy novel and wanted that extra incentive to get it done or at least on the road to being done.  Knowing that you don’t always reach the finality of the book in this challenge, I knew I could at least get that push and “umph” to get it going and hopefully almost if not completely written by the end of November!!

Because of other things going on at the end of October and the beginning of this month I am now really going to be ducking into my writer’s cave and diving into my writing.  50,000 words by the end of November is no small feat so wish me luck and keep on being great the way you are!!!

Belle xo

Me, writing, topics, sharing, Update

Things I Have Done and Things In The Works

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I would like to share with you, dear readers, some things I have done and am working on.  I have had so much going on in my life for the past few years and have found again my love of writing in the midst of this.  So that, along with my love of singing and using my voice, I have decided on a lot of avenues to be able to do with these things I love.  Here goes….

*You know (or maybe you don’t), I wrote a book about erotica, mystery, adventure and love.  It helped me escape from things I was trying to deal with in my life at the time as well as help me to express myself in a different way.  I let the story pour out of me and take on a life of its own.  I am proud of that book.  I know that some of my family and friends do not approve of it nor of some of the things in it, but that’s okay.  They do not have to read it nor accept it.  And I am going through it now to correct errors and edit it a bit more, so I will be reintroducing it once that is done.  I am also going to start writing a second book with some of the same characters in it.  I feel, even if it never goes far, at least I tried.

*I am also writing a couple of other stories and am hoping they do well also, especially one of them.  These will be under the name I use here, Belle Scribe.  I enjoy the twist and turns you can make in a story and its fun to see where the story can go.  I am really excited!

*I have written short stories and poems that I am thinking of making into books of each.  I have so many of these, and I see others doing the same, as in putting them in a book together.  I think it is a great idea and am looking more into this.  We will see.

*Last but definitely not least, I am working on doing some audio work.  I have not been able to use my voice as much as I like, not having a full-on band to play with recently, other than on Sunday mornings.  So, I thought, what can I do to use my voice and share it with the world?  Audio work!  (Like audio book work, voice over, reading short stories for myself and others)  And now my small audio studio is set and ready to go.  I have done a couple of test readings and so far they are good.  I will be putting some audio to the stories here and hope you all will give me some good feed back once I do.  It would be very much appreciated, if so.  🙂

I have been listening to a lot of great podcasts recently regarding entrepreneurship, writing and audio, so am very excited to put things into practice and get started from here! And if you need someone to read your stories or help out, please let me know!

Belle xo

Short story, Uncategorized

Time and Space

*Pixabay

Breathing in, the smell of books, varnish and leather, she thrills at the prospect of what story to get lost in today.

Angie loves the library.  She has always felt in another world when there.  Looking up from where she is in the midst of a vast space of books on shelves, reaching up to the sky.  Like this world of books could go on and on without stopping into another world and dimension.  She could stay here forever.  Happy in knowing she will always be somewhere new each day.

She finds a book that she knows will take her away from this world into another for a while.  Going to a comfortable seat on a soft couch, she opens up the beautiful leather bound book to a bright new world and adventure.  She looks around her, no one is there and it is nice and quiet.  Looking back to the book fondly, she gives an excited smile.  Falling into the story, she loses herself once again.

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I love finding pictures that pull a story out of my head.  Something to start with and the possibilities of there being a future story are so open!

Belle xo

pictureprompt, Uncategorized

Use Wisely

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As she walks slowly through the woods behind her home, she is lost in her thoughts.  Thoughts of frustration, feeling lost, wanting to help heal, wanting to move things, maybe by air.

Leaves float by her and around her.  She thinks, “it’s awfully early for the leaves to be falling.”  

Unfocused on her surroundings yet focused on her thoughts, she doesn’t realize that the more she gets lost in her thoughts, the more the wind is picking up and leaves are swirling around her.  They brush her face, along her cheeks and softly touching her lips.  She stops and looks around her.  She finds herself in the midst of a small tornado of leaves and flowers.  Her hands are lifted up on each side of her and she is tingling with sensation.  “What is going on?!”

Watching as the leaves swirl about, she breathes in deeply and exhales evenly.  Everything slows down slowly and as she brings her breathing to a steady rhythm, it all settles around her.  “What just happened?”  She asks out loud.

“Power is a great thing. Now you know you have it, use it wisely,” A voice from no where is heard suddenly and disappears just as quickly.

She stands there stunned and unable to comprehend what just happened.

“Maddie where are you?” she hears her sister call.

“I’m here!” and she moves to meet her.


A story that has formed in my mind just from a picture.

Belle xo

Short story

Castle Home in the Sky

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Pixabay Photo

She had been searching for so long.  Only finding what she was looking for in her dreams.  Dressed in a beautiful flowing gown she stood on the cliff.  Looking toward her home.  Held in the clouds by anchors to who-knows-where.  Her beautiful castle in the sky.  Waterfalls cascading into space and time.  Birds flying over head, singing for her to come home.  As she stepped forward, a bridge appeared in mid-air and she slowly headed to her castle home in the sky.  

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Belle xo

poetry

Point In Life

art-backlit-crescent-moon-556665*Photo by luizclas from Pexels

We have come to this point in life

And so happy that we did

For all the hard times and strife

Made it feel like we just bid

On all the bad and struggling issues

Instead of all the happy and good

No longer do we say our miss yous

But have a great life you should