I witnessed an accident last night first hand. As I was sitting outside my house, beside my new fire pit, listening and watching a friend’s Live. I live beside a somewhat busy road in a town on the northeastern side of Georgia near I-85. People drive to fast down this road all the time. It is full of curvy twists and turns throughout and the speed varies from forty-five to fifty-five depending on the area you come to. In my area, it is supposed to be forty-five.
There have been several one-car accidents in this one particular curve. Not many have been reported. They are usually cars going too fast that run off the road and they start back up and drive on. On occasion though there will be a bad one. This was one of those occasions.
As I was sitting by my fire pit, I heard a vehicle coming down the road which sounded as if it was going too fast. I thought in my head it should really slow down or it might have an accident. Then as it came into view I saw a black truck. It came around the curve, hit the edge of my grass (which by the way is the top of a hill down to my lawn), he tried to overcompensate, to the left, then once again to the right, throwing the truck sideways into the trees across the street, smashing hard.
It took me a second to register what had actually happened. I then jumped up, scrolled out of the Live, into my phone, dialed 911, and was talking to a dispatcher who in turn connected me to the dispatcher to my county. Within, I think, less than five minutes the ambulance was out here. Then the other emergency vehicles such as police and fire trucks were here.
In the meantime, a few people that live in the neighborhood behind the trees he hit came around to make sure he was okay while I was on the phone and others started pulling over to make sure if help was needed. He slid out of the truck and as soon as the guys in the ambulance were out, they had him in the ambulance checking him out.
Life Can Change So Quickly
It’s amazing how quickly life can change within minutes. Here I was sitting quietly beside my fire pit enjoying my friends Live and suddenly someone almost lost his life for going too fast around a curve right in front of my eyes.
My point is, yes be cautious and know your limits. But also, enjoy life. Tell those you love that you love them, make sure they know it. Do the things you want to do, try the things you want to try, don’t wait for things to happen, make them happen. Go for it! You may never get the chance again. One of my favorite sayings is Live, Laugh, Love!
My Challenge To You
Know this, with each negative, there is a positive.
So as my challenge to you, do me a favor. As you end your day, think back and for each bad or negative thing that was in your day, think about the good or positive thing that happened to replace it.
Being so focused on my podcast and content for it, I have been very slack in my content here. I have a hard time seeing how people do all the things and don’t burn out!! Seeing folks that do writing, podcasting, YouTube, all media, etc., I don’t get it. I mean, ALL THE THINGS, along with family and sometimes even a full-time job! How the heck do they do it????
And here is little ole me, with my ADD self trying my hardest just to focus on getting my content done for my podcast and not get lost in the social media as I try to put the content on that social media for my podcast! Haha!
But Why Go From Blog To Podcast?
Maybe it would help if I explained a little bit better about how and why I decided to start doing a podcast.
As all of my reader friends pretty much know, I started writing my blog to get me through some rough times. A lot of us start blogs for this reason. Some for other reasons, like a live journal, or a calendar to keep tabs on ourselves, etc. Mine was to share things I was going through, get them out of my head, and maybe have others going through the same thing join me in understanding. Not to bash anyone or to get revenge. It was for my own peace of mind and relief from thoughts. And wow did it help! And the people and friends I have met have been wonderful!
So, in the last six months, since I arrived home a few days early from my trip to London because of the emergency of COVID-19, I have gone through many ups and downs, in not only emotions but happenings, thoughts, decisions, and experiences.
Emotions, Happenings & Thoughts
Like so many, I have gone through a multitude of emotions because of Covid-19. It started with the anxiety of having to decide to come home a few days early from my trip and be self-quarantined for fourteen days by myself. My parents graciously got me the things I would need initially and left them in the house so that once I was home that evening I would have them immediately. Then, over the next two weeks I had two close friends and my parents (again, bless them) check on me and bring me things voluntarily and when needed. I continued on past those fourteen days being uneasy and not knowing what to expect with this virus pandemic.
Believing I would be okay but worried about others I love, I was getting restless and falling into the negative thoughts. Not working, so I was trying to determine what to do to keep myself busy, continued to attend my counseling online, and do regular exercise so that I would not become lazy and depressed. Feeling and seeing all the hate and anger stemming from the social distancing and the worry people were going through, along with media hyping up certain things to raise anxiety, I was determined to find something I could do to help bring some positivity and light into the world if just a little bit.
My decision to lend my voice into the positivity mode
Once I realized I couldn’t do the singing that I love on a regular basis during this virus social distancing and quarantine time, I had to figure out some way to use this voice of mine. I was given this gift for a reason. So, after thinking long and hard about it, I decided to start a podcast. Why not, I thought! If it doesn’t work out I haven’t lost out on anything. But if I don’t try, I definitely might lose out on reaching someone or changing someone’s life in some way. Even my own. So, I started my journey with my podcast Coffee, Wine, & Chocolate. It released on August 17th with the trailer and then August 24th was the first full episode. Starting off slow and steady with short episodes, and I will eventually have a little longer ones with interviews but hopefully not much longer. It seems people like the short and sweet ones! Ha!
I have gotten some really good feed back so far. I have received two reviews and a few ratings. So, if you have listened to my podcast, if you would please take a few minutes to write a quick review, it would be much appreciated and helps others find me! 🙂
And if you haven’t had a chance to listen yet, please check it out. It is Coffee, Wine, & Chocolate. Found on every podcast player you prefer. The apple player link is in the title above. If you look it up in Google it is in Google podcasts, listen notes, buzzsprout, podchaser, and so many more!
Thank you my dear friends, readers and listeners! Have a blessed, happy positive day! And if it’s been a hard one today, think of one positive thing that has made you smile today or that you are thankful for today. And know there is at least one. For every negative there is always a positive.
My thought for today is to find the strength you need to share your message. There are people out there that need to hear what you have to share, for they are going through what you have gone through and need to know they are not alone. So, have the courage to speak up. You have those that care for you and know your story. They are behind you showing their support so that you can help others.
I know this is easier said than done at times. Boy, do I know this! But to share is to help others and it gives great joy to be able to do this.
I have not felt like writing very much recently. Mainly because no matter what I do, I am constantly being watched for what I write. And if by any chance I say something “wrong” (even with hardly any followers on my blog) an alarm goes out and I am shut down again.
I started this blog to be able first to share things, like a journal, and not affect anyone, and yet get thoughts out of my head, get support, and show others possibly going through the same thing that they are not alone. Second to be able to write poems and stories, etc, and let my creative side spill out and not be held inside. And yet, here it is being held in again because of this.
I have reached a place in my life where I am finding the real me, understanding some things I didn’t before and feeling more myself than I have in such a very long time. I have found that I am an extremely sensitive person of which I thought meant I was needy and over the top. Now I understand it just means that I have a gift for feeling things from others around me in which makes me extra empathetic. Now I understand why I could always put myself in other people’s shoes and feel what they felt and understood their side of things better than most. And why my emotions sometimes were all over the place when in certain situations. And also why I needed and enjoyed being by myself.
It also explained why I felt the need to help those around me and take on their problems when they were not mine to take on. Why I don’t like chaos and want everyone happy around me, so I tried all ways to make those around me happy, even if it meant I was not happy. But I thought I was happy because others around me were.
Understanding these things has put more confidence in me to the point I feel my fire coming back. The light inside of me is growing strong again. I still cringe when someone I love is not happy. But I understand more now, that I have to be happy too and my life has to be lived separately as well as with the ones I love. So that we are all happy in our own way.
Anyway friends, I just wanted to share these things and I am finding my voice again and my confidence in my writing and love of creativity. Hopefully, because of this, I will have some things to share very soon.
Until then, stay well. Keep an open mind and keep learning in life and in you.
I have not been around recently for many reasons. The main one is that I was preparing and beginning to participate in the #NaNoWriMo challenge! I was at the beginning of writing a fantasy novel and wanted that extra incentive to get it done or at least on the road to being done. Knowing that you don’t always reach the finality of the book in this challenge, I knew I could at least get that push and “umph” to get it going and hopefully almost if not completely written by the end of November!!
Because of other things going on at the end of October and the beginning of this month I am now really going to be ducking into my writer’s cave and diving into my writing. 50,000 words by the end of November is no small feat so wish me luck and keep on being great the way you are!!!
I have always had a love/hate relationship with my body. But I have found that if I do not like something about my body I either need to live with it and love it, or do something about it and love it more. That is why I am working with my doctor right now on a diet plan where I have a monthly check up for her to keep tabs on me. And as I do this, I am exercising, going to yoga and eating a healthy diet (for the main part). I feel so great right now for doing this.
So, when I have a lady come in to our store, as she is going to be a model for us at the local fashion show we are participating in, and she is constantly down on herself; the way she looks, her body and her age, I try my best to make her feel good and confident about herself. It hurts me to hear someone put themselves down and make rude comments about themselves. It just isn’t right. I just wanted her to feel good in her own skin!
Tonight was the fashion show and she looked great along with the other 10 models we had. She being the oldest, she looked amazing and they all did so great!
At this time in my life, I am feeling a bit out in left field. I feel that one part of my life is closed and another is beginning, with the continuation of me going through it. Does that make sense?
For the last 30 years I have had happy times, fun times, frustrating and upset times, along with all that is in between. It has just been life. Unfortunately I felt I wasn’t enough, nor made a difference, in a person’s life and had to walk away from all I have known for those last 30 years. It truly is like grieving a loss as I have gone through this change. I know it is for the best for us both and hopefully we will come out the other side with a better understanding of each other and why it all happened the way it did.
My absolute wish is that he finds stability and strength in himself that I always tried to make him see as I saw in him.
I have found in myself a person I knew myself to be as well as a person I did not know yet. Funny how that happens when all you have is time to know yourself. As I have gone through counseling in the last 2 1/2 years, I have learned that I am an emotional person and that is okay. That I am very sensitive to others, want to please others (but now make sure there are boundaries in doing so), know that the reason I like being alone at times is my mind needs peace from others and the world when it is overwhelmed, realize when someone is trying to blame me for something they are actually to blame for or share in the blame for, and that even though I do not like conflict, at times I have to face it to get through it or end it immediately. I even realize that I do not trust my own decisions at times, because I have made some pretty bad ones in the past. And there is so much more.
I am very blessed to have family and friends that love me and support me. Even if they do not understand what I am going through or why I do things at times right now, they trust that I will get through it and be okay. They are there for me if I need them as I am here for them as well.
I have some life changing decisions to make. And even though I do not have to make them at this moment I will have to make them soon. (Which falls back on my not trusting myself still in making the right decisions.) I am learning to trust myself, what I do and the decisions, and moves, I make in life. I have to realize that even though I love helping others and want them to be happy, I also have to be happy in what I do and how I live. I have learned that this is not being selfish, but being smart. Others respect you more if you respect them by telling them what you cannot do and giving them your boundaries. That is not only showing respect to them but also to yourself.
Now one thing I have been upset about finding in myself is that I had started to react negatively if I was blamed for something and I was the person to blame. I would turn it back around on something or someone else. Now that person may have been partially to blame but I was not accepting my part in it. Until it was thrown back at me that I did it. I could have hit the ground! I was ashamed that I had not realized I had picked up a bad habit of not completely accepting my wrong doings, especially when I used to pride myself in accepting when I did something wrong. No one likes to be wrong but to accept and admit when you are is strength in itself.
I admit, I picked up some really bad habits in the last few years before and after my separation. To protect myself and those I love, I blocked myself away from them. I cut myself off basically. I would not talk about my problems, what I was going through, nor what was going on with me. I was both ashamed of what I was going through as well as not wanting to bring anyone into my problems and weigh them down with everything. It was my cross to bear and my problems to fix or get through. Therefore, everyone I love thought I was becoming someone they didn’t know anymore just because I would not talk or share. They thought I didn’t trust nor love them anymore. Especially my boys. (For this I am so upset about and ashamed.) I didn’t want them hurting any more than what they were going through seeing their parents separating. Unfortunately, because I did this, they were getting only one side of the story. I feel I have messed up my relationship with them because of this and it hurts so much. They say they know and are not blind to things, but still, I don’t think they realize everything.
Anyway, I just had to put this all down because it has been rolling around in my head for quite a long time now. I had to place it down somewhere, so why not here. Ha!
I am still going through things, as you see, but it is getting better every day. I pray some day I will look back on this and think, “Sheesh, you over reacted!” (*Rolling eyes) Time will tell.
Thank you, once again, my friends for bearing with me and my sharing what is in my head and heart.
I have been a bit AWOL lately. Was dealing with a lot so decided to take a break. I know I still have a lot to wade through but I am getting there.
Anyway, I am working on a couple of things, like audio work and writings. I am hoping to soon have at least some audio work done and can share. I understand it is the way forward so am working on getting that started and very excited about it!
If you listen to Podcasts and have not yet listened to Joanna Penn of The Creative Penn, I strongly recommend giving her a listen or check out her website!
Also, I recommend Unemployable Podcast! Great advise and information you might be interested in too.
So, that is my two cents for the day and will be back really soon!
Well, I was away for a bit to enjoy my birthday week and get through some hard stuff this week. I knew this week would be hard so for my birthday week I went to the mountains and did a couple of trails to some beautiful, calming, peaceful waterfalls. (Pictures above)
Then this week was my final hearing for my divorce. I was an emotional wreck prior to the hearing. I expected an emotional time during it, but it was quick (after waiting an hour from our start time to be called) and smooth with no emotional breakdown. Although with the long exhausting drive and my emotions totally drained, I broke down once home. To be expected I suppose. That is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
No matter what we went through, the love is there and I will never ever forget the wonderful memories.
So, we will get through this and move on.
I thank everyone here, friends and readers, for your support and understanding. I plan to continue on with this wonderful blog I love and hope to share so much more in the coming days, months and years!