My mind can pull me in to awful thoughts
Especially when feeling down and a bit off
I used to be so focused and clear in my plans and goals
But somehow in the process I went down a hole
The more I allowed myself to be persuaded by others
The less confident and good I felt about myself being the author
Of my life and how things should go
It’s like I let others take control and run the show
Now that I know myself and the boundaries to set
I am a bit better about knowing what and where to get
My mind and thoughts to when they fall into the negative
To use positive, affirmative and not just sedative
Means to deal with how I am feeling and going
So that I can manage the thoughts of loathing
And self-hate I let myself fall into over a short period of time
It doesn’t last and therefore gives me a chance in a lifetime
To make things right not just for me but those around me
Making things as right as can be
For now at least, and that is me hoping
That I have not completely screwed up my relationships and coping
By letting those near and dear to me know how much I care
And how much I am sorry for my way of dealing and dare
To feel empathetic to those I love so very much
But also understand that just a touch
Of the same from others can mean to me, but also one another.
This is a poem I wrote a while ago and didn’t publish. It is from my heart and what I feel so many times. Love to you all. – Belle xoxo
