Category: Update

Here I am after a long time away. Hello!

I have let life take me away from some of the things I love doing. And really, that’s okay. We need to live and let live sometimes rather than stay in our own little cocoon. I know I go there a bit too often. Or, that is, I used to. Now it is more of a choice when I go there, to get away on my own or to do something specific. I have found many things out about myself that I wasn’t sure of before but am most definite about now. These things happen the older you get and the more you pay attention and grow.

When you get between the ages of forty-five to fifty-five (at least for me) you begin to see things happening when a woman. Such as pre-menopause to menopause and all the changes you are going through and dealing with. From there, you figure out how to deal with and work through the changes and ways that help you get through them smoothly. Unfortunately it isn’t a smooth change. There are a lot of ups and downs when going through the changes. There is physical changes, such as bleeding in over abundance to not bleeding at all (TMI, but true); tummy bloating; hairs appearing on chins and faces, or even other places they shouldn’t be; water retention; not sleeping or sleeping a lot, etc… Then the emotions are up and down; anxiety and depression; and so much more.

Now, along with this, I am remarried and living away from my family after moving from Georgia, USA to London, UK. I have noticed little things when talking to others and my husband, that I do (or don’t do) and am pretty sure I can link these things to ADD/ADHD. My youngest son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was in third grade at the age of seven. Here are my symptoms for my self-diagnoses: I do not stay focused on tasks, very easily distracted, I am disorganized, take on multiple tasks and do not finish them, fail to meet deadlines, have a hard time paying attention in long meetings or discussions, I miss important details in conversations, easily bored, am forgetful, have a hard time communicating with others in an effective way when trying to get a point across; feel like when someone tells me I need to do something or change something, or even just that “something needs to be done” (even if not just specifically to me) I feel it is that person saying I am a failure; I hide to take myself away from situations (like shutting down and not talking to others and staying home instead of being with family or friends) and feel undervalued because of my nature to take a step back from the spotlight. The stay focused, easily distracted and disorganized are my top three areas for me that are the hardest. I also believe either that or the menopause is the reason my memorizing lyrics has failed. So frustrating!

I have received some great recommendations on things to help and unfortunately a lot of these things don’t help me but can help others. Such as lists and reminders. They are somewhat good but not full proof. The lists I may forget to go back to for a while and the reminders I will put off or accidentally check as if done and then forget about.

So, like I said, frustrating and makes me anxious to “fix” myself. Which, by the way, you can’t “fix” but you can help yourself to make things better. This I am working on and working to understand more each day. It really does affect my writing, singing, and anything else I need to get done daily.

On another note, we are going to Sweden next week for the Midsummer Celebrations. Shopping day today for that and my birthday, which is tomorrow. 🙂 I will put a reminder to post about it! Haha! Hopefully I won’t put it off nor forget. (*covers face*)

I hope you all have a great weekend and see you sooner rather than later! ; D

Belle xoxo