song

Songs That Mean Something to Me

Shakira’s “What We Said” has a pretty strong point, where two people say and do things that can’t be changed and change them forever.  People don’t realize their actions and things they say have such an impact on those they love and share things with.  If only we would know ahead of time what we should do, the right way.

Christina Aguilera’s song “Stronger Than Ever” hits close to me and what I have gone through.  The actions of someone I love affected me.  It is not his fault I reacted the way I eventually did, but I had to find myself again after being so lost in trying to do right by him and help him.

Demi Lovato’s song “Old Ways” says she had to change from her old ways and find herself again.  Just like Christina’s song affected me, this one does as well, for this very reason.  Sometimes we get lost in trying to be something or someone we are not, just to please others and what they think we should be like.  You have to pull yourself up and find the real you and be happy in who and what you are.

Just some pretty powerful songs (at least to me) that I wanted to share.

Belle xo

Boundaries

Boundaries and Things I Have Learned

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I have learned that boundaries are a very important part of life and living a good, self-loving, happy life.  I used to be one of those people that always said “yes” to everything, even if it was not making me happy.  As long as I was making the person I said yes to happy, that was okay.  I have always been one to keep the peace.  To make others happy and keep conflict at bay.

I hated conflict.  Still do.  But I am learning that sometimes you must face conflict first, to not have it later on.

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That’s me^^ – At least it was me and I am still getting through a lot of these things.  I have always thought it important to make sure everyone else was happy.  Always believed others should come first before me.  Felt that I was selfish if I ever wanted to put myself first in anything.  Never felt I was good enough.  It’s very hard to work myself out of these beliefs that I have held on to for so long in my life.  Most of it really.

I am learning that to continue being like this I was losing myself and not being me. I was not the real me that loves to express herself through music, writing and other creative things.  I was cutting myself off to everything and everyone I love.

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The above list are things I had to start learning myself.  To believe in.  And to put into practice.  I have to constantly remind myself of these things more often than not.  It is an everyday battle to hold true to myself and do these things.  Once again, I feel I am causing conflict when I do these things.  When in all actuality I am just saving myself and being true to me by following and putting them into practice.

Do you have this problem too?

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Just like the meme above says, I stress out every time I have to put a boundary into practice.  That is my anxiety lashing out.  But I know it is to create a safe place for me.  And I also know that the more I do this and hold strong to the boundaries I place, I will make a better place for me, those I care about and want in my life.

I still let my anxiety and fear of conflict stop me from placing boundaries and/or following through when I do place them.  It is an ever continuing lesson I am learning and trying to hold to.  When not holding to boundaries I place, it causes even more conflict.  The one thing I continue to avoid!  You would think I would learn and hold on to it, faster than I am, just for this reason. (*rolling eyes*)

I will continue to push forward and be steadfast in these boundaries I need for me and those around me.

Do any of you have these struggles like me?  If so, I would love to know.  It’s nice to know we are not alone in this boundary process, learning and putting it into action.

Belle xo