Mental Health

You Feel Me?

person s hands holding heart shaped lollipops
Photo by alleksana on Pexels.com

Mistakes

I have made a few mistakes in my life. We all do. Do you feel me in this? But if we don’t make mistakes we don’t learn, right? I can definitely say I have learned a lot in my fifty-three years of life so far. Mainly by experience, but a lot by observing, asking questions, and listening as well. I love to learn. We learn every day. We learn from each other, from our children, from nature, from our parents and grandparents, from strangers and everything around us. Even from ourselves. I think I have learned more from myself in the last few years than I ever thought possible. I mean, what in the world are you going to learn from yourself, right? A LOT!

Just A Few Lessons Learned

I have learned that I did not love myself. I learned that I had to let go of someone I loved dearly to be able to move on. I learned that things are not always as bad as they seem. I learned that our minds are not good to get lost in. I learned that even though you love others, their love for you can be changed by others, so you have to let them learn the truth on their own (yes, this one kills me). I have learned that what one person believes in you, even though it is not the truth, you cannot change that belief until they are willing to see the truth and admit it. I have learned that no matter what you do for some to help until they are ready, they will not help themselves. I have learned that you shouldn’t beat yourself up over things. I have learned that others are very judgmental, even those I love, and that hurts a lot, but I cannot control how they feel and I cannot put that on myself. And there is so much more, but I will stop there.

So, You See…

I have grown a lot in myself and it’s a shame it took until now, but I was always a “late bloomer”! Ha! Oh well. The thing is, I hope for my sons’ sake that they do not wait so long to be aware of all these things. I hope they learn from my mistakes and their father’s mistakes and their own mistakes combined to be set way ahead of where we are at our age! That would be great! They will be very wise if so 😉

Hopefully, they will not be stuck in their ways and/or judgmental that they are not open to seeing others and the good that is there that they can learn from or that they themselves can help or teach. They are both good men and I know it is there in them! I am so very proud of them every day and love them so very much. I don’t think they realize how much. And they have lovely wives that are beautiful intelligent women and are and going to be, the best moms to their children too. I look forward to seeing what the years to come bring to them!

And Now You Know

Anyway, I was in my feels this afternoon and wanted to jot it down and get it all out of my head. You know how that goes. I have felt a lot of anxiety during these months of the Covid-19 strife. Do you feel me in this too? Yes, I have talked to family and friends. I have even seen them. But it’s not the same. You are constantly cautious, wearing masks everywhere you go. Washing your hands or using the anti-bacterial liquid wherever you go (and if you don’t, feeling like you must). And when living alone it seems a bit more cut off from things. Thank goodness for my kitty being here. She keeps me laughing with her antics all the time.

I will be happy to finally be over all of this and move on, that is for sure!

Have a happy wonderful day my friends! I know I will 🙂

Belle xo