To Begin With…
I have worked so hard on myself for the past few years. Correcting all the bad habits and “survival habits” I had developed. That is, I have been unlearning bad habits I have learned over the years to make myself a better person for me and others.
When a habit that someone else did that I used to get upset about is pointed out to me by someone I care about that I am doing, I get very upset at myself. I was told I am deflecting the responsibility off of myself to someone and/or something else. Yet I was seeing it as talking out loud to work through what I had done to come to the conclusion that I was completely at fault. Unfortunately, by me doing this the person in question seeing and hearing this, felt slighted (which I would have too) because I reacted to him negatively while trying to work through it myself.
You see, to me I have had to work through things by myself for so many years that I have a system down that my mind processes things (normally out loud being by myself most of the time) to the conclusion. Not always the correct conclusion, but nine times out of ten it is the correct conclusion. It is just my way. The introvert in me is this way. And the sensitive person that I am takes things very personal very easily, as I always have. Which is very frustrating for me and I know has to be for anyone around me.
Thing is when you have someone else in your life or live with someone else, you have to coexist with that someone that has flaws just like you. And you either work with them and know what is there so you can live with them, or you move on from them because you can’t.
We discussed it, I know what I did and we are working together to handle the situation I messed up. I am also working on paying attention on how I handle these type situations in the future and why I react the way I do. It is a learning situation. There are always new reasons to learn and change. I totally believe this and live by it.
What do you do in this situation?