Mental Health

Unlearning Bad Habits

*Pixabay

To Begin With…

I have worked so hard on myself for the past few years. Correcting all the bad habits and “survival habits” I had developed. That is, I have been unlearning bad habits I have learned over the years to make myself a better person for me and others.

So…

When a habit that someone else did that I used to get upset about is pointed out to me by someone I care about that I am doing, I get very upset at myself. I was told I am deflecting the responsibility off of myself to someone and/or something else. Yet I was seeing it as talking out loud to work through what I had done to come to the conclusion that I was completely at fault. Unfortunately, by me doing this the person in question seeing and hearing this, felt slighted (which I would have too) because I reacted to him negatively while trying to work through it myself.

You see, to me I have had to work through things by myself for so many years that I have a system down that my mind processes things (normally out loud being by myself most of the time) to the conclusion. Not always the correct conclusion, but nine times out of ten it is the correct conclusion. It is just my way. The introvert in me is this way. And the sensitive person that I am takes things very personal very easily, as I always have. Which is very frustrating for me and I know has to be for anyone around me.

Thing is when you have someone else in your life or live with someone else, you have to coexist with that someone that has flaws just like you. And you either work with them and know what is there so you can live with them, or you move on from them because you can’t.

In conclusion…

We discussed it, I know what I did and we are working together to handle the situation I messed up. I am also working on paying attention on how I handle these type situations in the future and why I react the way I do. It is a learning situation. There are always new reasons to learn and change. I totally believe this and live by it.

What do you do in this situation?

Belle xoxo

2 thoughts on “Unlearning Bad Habits”

  1. Hey Belle,

    Long time no read 🙂

    We all have flaws and imperfections, l have a bucketload and when l am living with another – something l am not doing – we rightly compromise and try to not make our faults a default aspect to our relationships … but then again, these imperfections make us who we are and as long as they are not harming anyone else – does it matter?

    Well to some people, yes it does .. some of my faults, flaws and imperfections to Suze caused her so much of an issue last year that she decided we were to split up because of some of them, and l did feel slighted necause her own flaws l was able to live with peacably – but not everyone can do that.

    The best one can do is be honest and say “Hey l am not effing perfect, perfection is a dream state only created by those who live in a world of fantasy and not those who live in the real world – we can work together to make them not so big an issue or we cant. if the former – great l’ll make a conscious effort to not make them really annoying and yet if we can’t then fine, l’ll live by myself and not become overly annoyed with their presence.”

    1. Hi Rory!
      Yes, you are so right. Glad to be back. 🙂
      I agree, we are definitely not perfect and will never be perfect. Working to together to live with each other’s imperfections because we love each other enough to do so is what we each strive to do. But, as you say, if we cannot do that, it is better to live with yourself. I have learned to love myself to live with myself just fine.
      Thank you so much for your feedback!
      Belle xo

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