I feel in limbo for some reason at the moment. I need a purpose to focus on. I feel I am missing my boys so much I am overthinking things again and misreading signs. I haven’t been able to go back to the states as I usually do (three to four times a year) due to prices going up and our doing the studio redo this year. I can’t contact my youngest son through message nor calls because of his phone for some reason, and my contact with my oldest son is usually short. So, I can’t help myself from feeling they are cutting me off more for some reason. I know this is not true, but that is my thought process when in the negative mode and self loathing. Not good, but at least I know when I am there and need to work through it.
I have talked to my youngest through Instagram now and know his new phone is not accepting messages, he is hopefully going this week to get it fixed. I also talked to my oldest and he told me to stop being so negative. Haha! He knows. So all okay. *shrug* Like I say, the communication is so important for me. Especially after I was so bad for a few years about communicating with my loved ones to block myself and them from hurt as I was going through my separation and divorce. That was wrong and I know it and am trying to make sure I don’t do it again.
Yesterday was Mental Health Day and I didn’t even realize it. It is so important to know yourself and what you need to work on with your mental health. Get the help you need. Whether it be counseling, medicines or just learning ways to help you cope. For me, counseling was so helpful in the beginning. She helped me work through things, understand myself so much better and gave me coping skills I would never have had if it weren’t for her. Once I moved away, I carried that with me, along with meds that have leveled most of my anxiety and emotions from getting out of control. I am on a lower dose so know this is also a reason my emotions are at a higher level at the moment.
I don’t know about you, but change of season also has a bearing on my mood. When it starts to get darker sooner and the days get shorter it takes a bit to get through that until the wonderful holiday season to lift the spirits. Celebrating Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and the New Year are usually times for great celebrations and uplifting of spirits that make you happy, smiling and sharing the joy with others. The decorations, lights and uplifted moods of others help so much. At least they help me. I know for others it is not a good time of year for them. This is hard and I recommend trying to find the best coping skills available if at all possible.
If you can, surround yourself with positive people and ones that love and support you. I have some amazing friends and family that support me and love me no matter what I am going through (even when I don’t think I deserve it or think I’m alone when I am not). Also, realize one of the best things you can do is to learn to love yourself and be comfortable with who you are enough to be happy to be alone with yourself.
These are things that have helped me through some hard times :
- A journal
- Starting a blog
- Music
- Drawing, coloring or some other form of art
- Reading
- Social Media (this one is a positive outlet until it isn’t anymore. Once it isn’t, let it go)
- Games & puzzles
- Learn something new, like recipes or a language
These have helped me a lot and I still use most of them when I need to. I hope they can help you or anyone you know that might need these suggestions.
With that, I say have a great day, make great choices, love yourself and those around you. Live life to the fullest and don’t take one moment for granted.
Until next time, love to all!
Belle xoxo
