I wrote this because I am hurting right now. I am hurting because the person I thought I would always have beside me and love had gone so far away from me I had to finally let go and find happiness. I am hurting because he has decided to constantly lash out at me, since I have decided to let go, by blaming me for things he hears others say about me, and then tell those I love and are dear to me (that should not even be told these things), making my relationship strained and raw.
It was hard enough letting go of the one I had loved and swore I would never leave. The one I spent years taking care of and supporting and being there through all the bad/sad/frustrating times. The one I constantly tried to make happy and show I was happy no matter what we went through. The one that fun, happy times together are the most wonderful memories I cherish. And because of circumstances we both brought on from years of progressively going down a black hole, I had to leave. It was the best thing for me to do. He has finally learned how to stand on his own two feet and make something wonderful happen in his life.
Yet, he continues to try to make things hard for me and continues to try and find things that will hurt me because he is hurting. So I had to get this out of me so that I can find my strength from within to continue moving forward and stop letting these thoughts and feelings bring me down as they have been in the recent days.
So, this I write from that place. If you are reading this, bless you and thank you.
Belle xo
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Did you ever think…
That you had something to do with the change
That you lied on a constant basis
That you made promises and constantly broke them
That you made me feel I was wrong
That you made me feel I wasn’t worth it
That you left me alone
That you hurting hurt me too
That your pain was my pain
That all I wanted was you to come back
That I wanted you to fight for me, for us
That what you did and said affected not only me
That I hung on for years trusting
That my trust was constantly broken
That all I kept thinking was it had to get better
That if I threw back what you did to me you would see it hurt
That I found it didn’t change things
That I learned from you what I swore I would never do or be
That I turned into someone I didn’t know
That I let myself change in a bad way
That because you shut down, eventually so did I
Did you ever think or realize that what you throw out comes back to you?
Did you ever think that my love for you made me let go and find the need to move on?
And do you ever realize by hurting me you hurt those we love too?
So sorry that you are going through this bad phase. Prayers and hugs for you. Stay strong. Things do get better but it takes time.
Thank you so much! I know it will get better. This phase sucks! Thank you so much for your supportive words <3
You’re welcome
Belle – I had a very sad experience with my ex-flatmate. I still don’t understand what happened and I still have strong feelings for him. But I don’t think he was in control of his emotions frankly and he did a lot of hurtful things.
Very painful situation that broke my heart.
I feel for you so much. I think some people don’t know how to deal with strong emotions – when they start to love intensely, for some reason other negative emotions can be very intense when triggered like jealousy or resentment.
Make sure you have wholesome people in your life who can help you to maintain your emotional health and not let someone else make your feel crushed.
Thank you so much for your wonderful kind supportive words. It means so much! <3
<3 We are always learning hey – especially about emotions <3
You know it! I am so sorry you had to go through something similar. I would not wish this on anyone. <3
My ex had a mental breakdown and it was so difficult on all of us. Wishing you strength and peace. ❤️❤️❤️
I can somewhat understand. I’m so sorry you went through that. Thank you so much! <3
Sorry, it’s been an emotional roller coaster for you! I hope that you have a great support network that will “hold your hand” and give you strength when you need it. *Many hugs*
I do have several around me I draw support from, as well as you wonderful people here. I feel so much support and love here. Thank you! <3
You are so welcome! Here’s to time of recuperation and self-love. Take care dear! <3
Thank you! <3 xo